Monday Night, December 10th, we put our children to bed at home around at 9:00 pm, and were excited to go up into bed, and rest and enjoy a movie. I had spent all day cleaning the house, and doing a last minute grocery shopping and other various errands, knowing the time was near. Ray, the painter was still in our home, but only had one more day to finish up the painting job we had contracted him for.
My husband and I laid down in bed, and no sooner had we gotten comfortable, the room completely still and quiet when be both heard a quiet "pop". And, Oh! my Goodness! My water just broke!
I never imagined in a million years that would happen, since it is very rare that water would break before contractions start. But, it can happen, and so it was written. I jumped out of bed and into our bathroom and checked the color of the fluid. Cloudy clear, perfect... no blood, or brown. So, we made 2 phone calls, one to my Mother, who was our person to come and sit with the kids if we needed her to, and to The Birth Center, where we planned to have this baby naturally.
The midwives told us normally they would have us come in to do a stress test, since our water broke spontaneously, and there weren't any contractions. But, she went through a check list of things (water clear, my temperature, baby moving) and I met all of them, so she was comfortable letting me rest and labor at home until the famous 4-1-1. (contractions 4 minutes apart, and 1 minute long for at least 1 hour). She told me to get my support person there, to eat, rest, and if nothing happens then to come in the next morning at 8:30 am (my scheduled appointment).
About one hour later the contractions started coming, pretty regularly, about 2 -3 minutes apart, but only about 40 seconds long. I ate a sandwich, and my Mom came. We chatted a bit, and then Phil and I went upstairs to rest. And, by rest I mean me anxiously folding laundry, packing a bag, and any other last minute details I could think of. About 2am, I got a string of Christmas lights and strung them in our bathroom, and got in the bath, for a nice long jacuzzi. I was feeling more anxious than anything so I tried to relax and listen to the Hypo Birthing CD I had. It helped in relaxing a little... so much so that the contractions slowed down to about 6 - 8 minutes between, so I tried to sleep. I did manage to catnap a bit and my Husband fell asleep.
About 5:30 am, I got up, made some coffee, and an oatmeal smoothie. At 6am, I awoke my oldest daughter Sofia, to get her ready for school and the bus which picks her up at 6:40. I told her that my water broke last night and today would probably be the day her brother was born. I doubt she got anything done in school that day. at 6:30 am, Ray the painter came, and I told him I was in labor, but it was best if he stayed and finished up his last day of work, since we were heading in to the Birth Center anyway. He made some jokes and talked shop while I tried to smile through contractions, which at this point were still pretty irregular. After Sofia was safely on the bus, and Emma was in my Mothers care, Phil and I enjoyed breakfast together, and then packed up the car and headed over. Both of us sleepy but excited that today was the day we would get to meet our son.
On the way to the Birth Center I listened to John Legend sing Oh Holy Night. The most beautiful rendition I have ever heard. I cried a bit in joy, thinking of my son being born, and the words of that song just moved me so deeply.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wo1zJy3Zib0
We arrived at The Birth Center at 8:30 am checked in, and I weighed myself and did a urine analysis. I was 2 1/2 lbs. lighter than my last prenatal appointment the week prior which I imagine was due to losing most of the amniotic fluid. Although, there was some still coming out in dribs and drabs, which meant constant wet panties and pants. This was really the only thing making me uncomfortable at this point as the contractions had all but subsided.
Ann the midwife gave the baby a stress test and he was doing wonderfully with heart rate consistent at about 140 BPM's. On paper my contractions looked pretty strong, although I wasn't too uncomfortable. They decided to admit me. The rule in The Birth Center is that I have 24 hours from the time my water breaks to be in active labor. Active labor means that I should be 4.5 centimeters - 6 centimeters dilated with contractions coming every 3-4 minutes, for more than 1 minute in length, consistently. If my labor did not progress to that point by 9:30 pm that evening, I would be transported to the hospital for pitocin and other artificially induced measures for helping things along.
Ok Baby, we got this.
Since the contractions had subsided a bit, we started off with a bit of nipple stimulation. I would have liked to use a more natural method, but they preferred we use a breast pump. :) That started working very quickly, and within minutes it seemed my contractions were stronger than ever. Unfortunately this only seemed to last as long as I was pumping, and eventually they seemed to die down again. The midwives suggested that we use Castor Oil, which is an age-old trick, and the most effective. Although the nasty side effect is that the oil does more than just pump contractions out of you. UGH. Not sure I wanted to go there yet. The Midwives decide to just let me go on my own, and see how things happen. They checked my cervix for the first time, and it was 4 1/2 centimeters dilated.
This is where I noticed something amazing happening. The contractions, well, they hurt. There was no way around it. They sucked balls, actually. But I started to notice that in between contractions I was feeling like a million bucks. It wasn't just the absence of pain in that sort of negative space, although I am sure that helped some too, but my brain was releasing endorphins putting me in a very "feel good" place. At one point I compared the feelings to Opiates. Not that I would know what that was like. But, I imagined it was like this. Amazing that God gives you everything you need to cope with the process He designed.
Around 2:30pm , with contractions still coming and going we decided we would take a walk to the Wawa to get a change of scenery, and see if that got things going more consistently. The end goal in mind was to purchase a milk shake, and if the contractions didn't come on their own, then we would use castor oil in the milk shake. The Wawa walk is the highlight of the experience. I can only imagine how fantastic we looked walking up County Line Road in Bryn Mawr, inch by inch, me looking wild, with crazy hair and pregnant as all get out, as my graceful Husband held my arm, and patiently waited every 20 feet as I moaned through a contraction. They were pretty intense. But the problem was they weren't coming consistently enough, I guess. Once we were at Wawa, I told my Husband I couldn't possibly go inside and be laboring in the Wawa, so I waited out front, while he procured the milkshake. At least 2 people asked me if I was OK, and could they help in some way. "Don't worry" I tried to smile "This is all part of the Birth Plan!"
The walk took approximately an hour.
Once back at the Birth Center, contractions once again started to subside. I asked what else I could do in lieu of Castor Oil, and Cheyenne my Midwife, suggested I walk up and down the stairs, lunging at each contraction. I did this for approximately 45 minutes. It was exhausting.
Once back at our suite, I asked the Midwife to check me again, and unfortunately we were still only at 4 1/2 centimeters. I instantly became discouraged. The time was now 5:00pm, and I was only 4 1/2 hours away from being transported to the hospital. We had been laboring for 19 hours.
Finally, I asked to be given the Castor Oil. Cheyenne poured it in the milkshake, and I sucked it down.
For the next hour, contractions felt stronger but were still not coming in in the magic 4-1-1 ratio. I was so discouraged, and I believe at this point I hit a wall. I was in and out of the bath, which seemed to help some, and my labor was so intense in my lower back my sweet Husband put pressure on my lower spine, which seemed to help a bit. But nothing made the pain subside.
Around 7:00 pm I started bargaining with everyone. I wanted to go to the hospital. I don't know what my goal was, except maybe just to get this baby out as fast as possible. And to make the pain stop. I actually asked the nurse for a diaper (in case the Castor Oil kicked in on the ride to the hospital), and could we start packing our bags and get going? I believe that if someone would have offered a C-Section on the spot I would have taken it. This is the power of birthing in a Birth Center instead of the hospital, because when you take intervention off the table, you give your body the awesome power it needs to do it's own job it's own way.
Cheyenne and my Husband both talked me out of my plan. They convinced me that the Castor Oil takes about 2 hours, and let's just work through this since we still had 2 1/2 more hours until the dreaded 9:30 cut-off. I agreed, and Cheyenne left the room to give my Husband and I privacy.
It was at this point that I got in the bath and just completely lost my faith. I asked my Husband to pray, and I will never forget his beautiful prayer as we sat in the dark under the glow of the candles, tears streaming down my cheeks into the bathwater - him holding my hand, and asking God for reprieve and strength. I just remember thinking, I know exactly what is going to happen. Nothing. They are going to come in and check me, and I will still be 4 1/2 centimeters. It will be 2 more hours of this awful hell, and then I will have to take the awful car ride to the hospital. Then, they will give me pitocin, which will make everything hurt 100 times worse. The baby won't fare well, and then I will have to have a C-Section, ruining every chance of a future vaginal birth. I just felt defeated, and sure that this would not turn out the way I hoped. 22 hours into this thing... and I had lost my hope. I just thank God that my amazing Husband stepped in, and took over for us, rubbing my back in the bath and whispering words of encouragement. Praying, and holding my hand.
After a while the contractions started coming on even stronger, and I wanted to get out of the bath. As I did, I violently vomited for several minutes. The Castor Oil was starting to work, and my Husband again was there to step in, holding a humungous bowl under me with my strong arm, and my hair with the other tender arm.
From this point on things get a little hazy... I just remember telling my Husband that at this point, I wasn't laboring, but laboring was happening to me. Meaning, I had no control over my body or what was happening, just that something intense and forceful was taking over. I know there were loud sounds, a lot of pacing, and very intense breathing. I tried to draw from my years of Bikram yoga experience, and breathing through the contractions did help some. Also, I remembered my Mother in Law mentioning to find a focal point, and so I did, and that also helped. It was around 8:30 when this intense part of labor started taking over. I know I asked to be alone at one point, and I basically just paced in the bathroom, afraid I would have to use the toilet, but also, not able to respond to anyone's questions or comments. Every now and again I would hear my Husband in the background encouraging me, and telling me my body is doing exactly what it was supposed to be doing. That helped me.
The Lord answered our prayer. Around 8:45 I got back in the bath, and then suddenly I felt the intense desire to push. I told my Husband to call the Midwives. They came in immediately. They told me not to get out of the bath, and checked me in the water. Cheyenne said "Yep, 10 centimeters, and I can feel your baby's head!" With help I got out of the bath, and I recall my Midwife on one side drying me off, and my Husband on the other. One thing about natural child birth: shame, expectations, and even dignity go right out the window. You are just a woman walking on a path, and there is only one way to the other side and that is through it. No one else can do it for you, and you are just as vulnerable as can be. The only thing more vulnerable than laboring I suppose, is being born, in which you have absolutely no control. I am glad I could advocate for my son, and let my body do what it knew how to do, even if it took a little longer than I would have liked.
Suddenly stuff was just happening. Sheets and pads were being thrown on the bed, a nurse was coming into the room with equipment, and my Husband was escorting me over to the Queen size bed. My Midwife asked me which position I would like to try pushing in, and I chose to be on my back. I asked for some direction, and she told me to put my arms under my thighs and pull back, relax my shoulders, and with every contractions to push with every single muscle cell in my body. And that is what I did. It felt intensely strange to feel a child moving up the birth canal, and within 5 pushes, this baby was out. When the shoulders emerged, the nurse gave me a shot of pitocin in my thigh, just because my hemoglobin had been low.
It was absolutely incredible to feel my body take over and become the strongest thing I had ever seen, heard of or known. I delivered my beautiful baby boy into this world and cried tears of joy as he took his first breaths. I remember a wave of peace washing over me because he looked beautiful and healthy, and also because it was over. The midwives immediately laid him on my chest, and did not take him off for the next hour or more.
They waited about 10 minutes until the cord stopped pulsating, and then my Husband cut the cord. My baby immediately started belly crawling up my stomach and rooting for the breast. He took immediately. The placenta came and then the after birth contractions, and I felt wonderful. The best thing I can equate this to was running a marathon. While you are in it, it sucks balls. But at the end of the race you feel incredibly proud, and you know you just did something of great importance and intensely beautiful.
Around midnight, we tried to get some rest, but I felt too excited and nervous to leave my boy in the bassinet aside me. So, I nursed him in the rocking chair, and kept him on my chest most of the night and monitored his breathing.
The next morning, elated, we were allowed to go home. It was amazing to be able to spend those first few days in the intimacy and privacy of our own home. My new son never left my arms from practically the minute he was born. He is currently breastfeeding on demand, and thriving and doing beautifully.
I can't speak highly enough of my experience at The Birth Center, and I highly recommend it to any woman who wishes to experience natural child birth. I plan on having any future babies there as well.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
