Becoming

I's MARRIED now!

That is right. I am married. And, to the best man in this universe. 
No, I really mean it. 
He is simply the best man I have ever known in this lifetime. 


We had a beautiful wedding on 07.31.11. 
It was everything I had ever hoped for and probably much, much more. 
It was beautiful, and colorful, and the music was amazing. 

The blessed children were radiant.

and every single person I can think of that I love, whom loves me back, broke bread in that room. The wine and whiskey flowed, and the food was good, and it was such a special day. Every time I look back on that day for the rest of my life, I will remember how happy I was, and how beautiful I felt. 


I love this man. 

And now, comes the fun part. I get to be the Wife of this amazing man.
And while it is no small thing to restore love and family to a man who lost everything, I feel like my God is just laying down the path, and I am simply walking on it... 


I was called to this. I know that more than I know anything. 


I am now also the Mother of this amazing, beautiful little 2 year old girl. 
I had forgotten, how much fun they are. I had forgotten how much work they require! And most of all, I had forgotten how attached one could become to them, in such a short period of time. 


My heart bleeds sometimes, when I look into her big brown eyes. I simply cannot imagine saying goodbye to those big brown eyes. The eyes she inherited from her Birth Mother... from her real Mother. 

It is important to note that I am not trying to replace her Mother. But still, as painful as it may be for some, I will be the one she connects with as her Mother. Chances are, she won't remember her Mother, and she certainly won't have the privilege of knowing her. 

My Husband's Late Wife had the honor and privilege of being the vessel that carried this beautiful little girl into the world. I could never take that from her, and I would never want to. One of the most amazing things my Husband  ever said to me after his Late Wife had passed and he was faced with rearing this child alone .. he said " She always wanted a child. I am so happy I was able to give her that gift". And, a gift it was... For her, for him and now for me.  Now, I am will be the one gifted with the task of helping this child become her own woman. I will do everything I can to help honor her Late Mothers memory, but at the same time, I think it is important to qualify the real life relationship the child and I have now, and will continue to have over the years to come. My heart breaks for her when I think of her eventual mourning of her Mom. And my prayer is that I will be there to help her get through that, when it does. Thank God for that. 

She is not a child of my body, but she is mine just the same.


And so, I begin this journey. I have a feeling I will really become all I was ever meant to become, over the next season of my life.